Who sends people to hell?

The line seemed to have stopped moving for quite some time, now, and people were starting to talk amongst themselves.

“Any idea why we’re not moving?” Dave asked Tom, the person in front of him.

“Apparently the judgement had to stop because someone refused to go to hell,” Tom replied, pointing to the valley of the son of Hinnom outside Jerusalem in the distance where some people had already ended up on fire.

“Wait, you can do that?” Dave looked surprised.

“Well, from what people in front of me have been saying, someone who was aware of a little secret that he’d heard at church before he died and was resurrected made it to the front of the line. It turns out he learned that God doesn’t send anyone to hell, but rather that people send themselves there. And so, after he was judged guilty, he just didn’t walk into hell, and now God’s kind of stuck, because He doesn’t force anyone to go to hell Himself.”

“But don’t people send themselves to hell by refusing to get saved?” Dave asked.

“Well, that’s what we’ve been told by some Christians. But if God doesn’t send anyone to hell, then it doesn’t matter if they got saved or not because, if He forces someone who didn’t choose to get saved before they died to walk into hell after their resurrection and judgement, or if He tosses them into the valley against their free will, it would turn out that God does send people to hell, and also that He doesn’t actually respect their free will after all,” Tom explained.

“Well, it sounds like God’s in a bit of a pickle then,” Dave said. ”It’s too bad He couldn’t have figured this out ahead of time.”

“I mean, if God could figure things out ahead of time, He would have figured out how to convince more than just 1% or so of a species that is basically incapable of making good decisions to get saved,” Tom pointed out.

“Good point. Oh well, at least now I won’t have to go to hell. I never actually chose to get saved back before I died and was resurrected for judgement here at the Great White Throne, so it sounds like God saved me from hell without me having to choose to get saved myself after all, thanks to His poor planning.”

“Yeah,” Tom agreed. ”Thank God that those Christians were right and that He doesn’t send anyone to hell after all, but that we have to send ourselves there if we actually want to go.”

“Well, I sure don’t want to go to hell,” Dave nodded. “So I guess I’ll exercise my free will and choose to avoid it, and go live on the New Earth along with everyone else who doesn’t willingly choose to walk into hell themselves.”

I trust it’s obvious that this is satire, but this really is the end result of the teaching of many Infernalists who like to claim that God doesn’t send anyone to hell, but rather that they choose to go there themselves.